Last night as I lay trying to get to sleep, I heard my oldest daughter Grace (I’ve code named her Blair before, but trust me – Grace is funnier) come into the room. Mrs. P was still up reading, and through the haze of almost sleep, I heard Grace reporting that she burned herself with the hot glue gun.
Now, this is like the fourth time Grace has burned herself with that liquid lava dispenser. I’m not sure what it is with her and glue guns. I mean, I trust her implicitly with bullet guns – she can shoot the balls off a gnat at 100 yards, and she can safely handle a Glock with ease and effect. But put a $10 hot glue gun in the same room with her, and she’s going to come out scarred and disfigured with her eyelids glued to her elbows. WTF?
So I hear her murmuring to Mrs. P – they’re both unaware of the fact that I’m awake and hearing everything – about how the glue not only burned her finger, but peeled off a layer or two of skin when she tried to remove it. Looking for relief from the probably considerable pain, she turned to some folk remedy she found on the Interwebz somewhere. She went downstairs and brushed some honey on the wound – always a good start with wound care, although I’d make sure to remove the heat from a burn injury first with copious cold water; it stops the cooking process. Then she cracked open an egg and removed the membrane from inside the shell to use as a dressing. I’d never heard of that one before, but here she was excitedly reporting that the pain was gone after applying this remedy. I looked it up this morning – sounds legit.
In my peri-somnolent state, it occurred to me that a couple of hundred years ago, such a conversation between a young woman and her mother, had it been overheard by the wrong person, might have resulted in a summons to appear before the local magistrate for a heresy trial. Slapped in chains and subjected to torture, they’d have been forced to sign confessions of diabolical influence before being hanged or drowned or pressed to death. Luckily in our enlightened times turning away from modern medicine to folk remedies only gets you a visit from Child Protective Services.